Mrs. ... Who?

Mrs… Who?

I remember my wedding in flashes, similar to the pictures in my wedding album. I was on auto pilot for most of the day as so much time and energy had been invested in the planning of the wedding. I was glad we paid to have a person videotape our wedding, because when my husband and I watched it every anniversary it was like an out of body experience. I could not eat at our wedding reception, so my husband bought our first meal of chili and slaw dogs from a Dairy Queen when we arrived at our hotel. That was the day I became a Mrs. Our wedding demonstrated our choice and commitment “to love each other until death do us part.” The images of my husband’s unexpected death and planning of his funeral was similar to the wedding; I was on auto pilot, not fully realizing how this event was going to change my life and identity. What is difficult about widowhood is you become this new identity of “widow” or “widower” without any involvement in the decision making; it is dictated to you by the painful circumstances of losing your spouse. Whether the death is prolonged or sudden, the results are the same. There was a period of time when I held onto the title of Mrs. David Woodbridge, because it made me feel safe and secure. Later, I thought I needed to accept my singlehood… the embracing singlehood would take time. Singleness is different at forty something and the term “widow” seems to embrace the singleness, but not lose touch with the fact that I was once happily married. So the struggle for the widow is her identity. Who is she? The old and new testament scriptures indicate that she is a protected person that the Lord will defend, provide for, and give justice to the widow.

Psalm 68:4-5 Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds his name is the LORD—and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. (NIV)

Deuteronomy 10:18 He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. (NIV)

Psalm 82:3-4; Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. (NIV)

Psalm 146:9 The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked. (NIV)

Proverbs 15:25 The LORD tears down the proud man's house, but he keeps the widow's boundaries intact. (NIV)

Isaiah 1:17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. (NIV)

I Timothy 5:3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. (NIV)

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (NIV)

The following scriptures also gives warning to those who would take advantage, oppress, or ignores those widows in need.

Deuteronomy 24:17 Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. (NIV)

Exodus 22:22-24 Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless. (NIV)

Job 31:16 - 22 If I have denied the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary, if I have kept my bread to myself, not sharing it with the fatherless- but from my youth I reared him as would a father, and from my birth I guided the widow- if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing, or a needy man without a garment, and his heart did not bless me for warming him with the fleece from my sheep, if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, knowing that I had influence in court, then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint. (NIV)

Isaiah 10:1-2 Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees, to deprive the poor of their rights and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people, making widows their prey and robbing the fatherless. (NIV)

Jeremiah 22:3 This is what the LORD says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of his oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the alien, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place. (NIV)

Zechariah 7:10 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other. (NIV)

Malachi 3:5 "So I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me," says the LORD Almighty. (NIV)

Mark 12:40 As he taught, Jesus said, "Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted in the marketplaces, and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets.They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely. (NIV)

Luke 20:46-47 "Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted in the marketplaces and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely." (NIV)

I found it very encouraging as a widow to see that we are of great value to the Lord. It does not mean that we will not have difficulties or that we will not be taken advantage of in this life. Every widow has the opportunity to make a decision to honor her Lord, her husband, and herself and allow the Lord to prove daily He is at work in her life. It helps to know who she is in the Lord, when the world seems overturned.